Personal Flaws

Every human has shortcomings. However, it is each individual’s choice to decide whether to share and admit the flaws. In his classic Amercian novel The Scarlet Letter, Hawthorne repeatedly suggests to the readers to be true to the world and be true to themselves, such as through the minister called Dimmesdale. The great minister tries to hide his sin and flaw throughout the majority of the book. Thus as a consequence, Dimmesdale has to suffer through agony, fear, and self-hatred.

The book has inspired me to reveal my own flaws. One shortcoming of mine is that I cannot manage anxiety well. Especially during the competition or testing months, my usually calm and logical thoughts are often being attacked and disrupted by spasms of anxiety. The nervousness would creep into my brain when I am trying to practice or study, making it impossible to focus. The anxious feeling also creates inconveniences even in the middle of competing in an event. When the judges give me time to prepare for an event before I start, my thoughts would not stay on reviewing or preparing. Instead, they often wonder away from the current situation, and embed themselves in a strange dimension of the universe. Strange ideas would then explode in my brain like popcorns, such as “did dinosaurs really extinct with the comet”, or “tennis balls bounce up and down”, and eventually end with “I will die right here right at this moment”. Therefore I often spend almost all the time trying to calm down rather than wisely using the time to prepare. On the other hand, knowing that anxiety hinders my performance ability, I often try to prepare well before the contest so that I can minimize the damage caused by the jumpy emotions.

I also have the tendency to doubt my own judgment. I would often leave home and after ten minutes into the highway, a suspicion would form about whether or not I have locked the door. Also, when answering questions, I often do not trust my own answer, even though most of the time I find that I am actually right afterwards.

Many people share the same flaws, but some choose to share and face it, while others hide and ignore it. Each person can decide how he or she lives in this world. However, no matter what you choose, it is never too late to confront your own flaws and mistakes.

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4 thoughts on “Personal Flaws

  1. I really like how you included the anxiety flaw. I think a lot of people can relate to that, especially because many aspects of life are designed in such a way to cause that feeling. Maybe more remarkable than the admittance of this flaw, is your ability to overcome it. You mention that you compete in various events and I’m assuming that you enjoy that and excel in that, which means despite your stress/anxiety in these moments, you still manage to continue.

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  2. I really liked what you wrote about anxiety because it is something that I to struggle with. Before big games or tests, I often experience panic attacks and have huge waves of anxiety come over me. This school year (with help of having a break from school over the summer) I have gained better control of my anxiety than in years past. I truly liked what you wrote because I can personally relate to it. Additionally, I can also 100% relate to doubting ones judgement. I constantly second guess myself on test and in games as well. This is something I personally had to work to overcome because second guessing myself all the time just increased my anxiety. I truly enjoyed reading this blog and being able to relate to it so personally.

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  3. Pingback: Fantastic Blogs | thatsoreagan

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